obviously me.

This would be regarding yesterday. Well, normal activities but just looking much more deeper into things. I just spent time catching up with old friends but discovered quite a few interesting things. We’ll start off about friendship.

Well, what about friendships? Definitely realised a few things. Firstly it doesn’t matter the length of the friendship but how they value it. I never thought some old friends i knew from school days just never changed though we split into many different directions. Even forgotten that the subject of backstabbing already cease to exist. Just discovered that i had people who claim to be friends conclude that i’m a bad influence and cannot be trusted. If you say so. Let’s just get straight to the point and make things simple. What is the purpose of backstabbing? It only proves that in your subconcious mind you realise that you have your own faults and don’t have enough courage to tell me about the mistakes i make. Which from a different aspect proves that you are just no better than me and telling me to make a difference so that you just appear better. I’ve learnt two things about true friendships.

One, true friends never backstab but tell your faults in your face.

Two, true friends will never talk bad about another person to cloud your mind.

Basically in a nutshell true friends tell you the bloody truth whether you like it or NOT. Simple.

Thus, that is all i have to say about friendship and thank God for the real friends i have. Note, i appreciate everything you’ve done for me and eventhough i may not have said thank you. well, thank you.

Moving on, about relationships. I was having a long talk with another friend i met up with. Suddenly he asked me a question, “Jini, are you sure that you are really gonna stay single for a long time?” Well, the answer? Yes. Now is the reason why.

Why would i want to stay single instead of having someone to be there to have and to cherish and the whole enchilada. From my perspective of it. I’ve had one too many failed relationships which just led me to being hurt over and over again. Then that got me thinking. Why am i spending time hurting myself building my life around another person and all it takes is the person to leave and i’m torn apart once again? It just isn’t worth getting hurt more and more. It’s indifferent with digging my own grave. So this time around i want to complete myself. I want to be secure and happy being me without a doubt. Just want to be my complete self without depending on another to make me feel whole.

Thus now i want to just spend time perfecting myself as the perfectionist i am. Spend time building my self esteem which sometimes we tend to overlook. Why do all this? Why be so selfish? It’s about time i do so.

I just want to see at one point in my life in future when i meet ‘the one’ i’ll be prepared and i would actually have the courage to say ‘Hello and Goodbye’ in the same sentence.

Now that would be me fulfilling the nicotine urge with my beloved best friend pointing my own darn camera at me. Yes, i do realize i look like crap. I’m just butt ugly. thank you.